Skit — beat sheet, gag rules, word budgets
Clock = the VO (narration 3.4-3.8 wps after vo_check). Percentages are of runtime; beats are pack-line ranges, never mid-sentence. Every on-screen shot = one sentence of ≥4 words (≥1.2 s), or it merges into the previous shot.
Standalone (12-30 s)
| # | Beat | % | 15 s skit | 25 s skit | Lines | Job | Line rules |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Callout gag | 0-20 | 0-3 s, ~10 words | 0-5 s, ~17 words | 1-2 | Name HER symptom while the gag plays | Line 1 ≤12 words, names her observable symptom (knocks, trips, alarms); no backstory; no product |
| 2 | Escalation | 20-45 | 3-7 s, ~13 words | 5-11 s, ~20 words | 1-3 | One rung bigger per shot | One action per sentence; the cost on HER (minutes, voice, cold coffee) in at least one line |
| 3 | Turn | 45-55 | 7-8.5 s, ~6 words | 11-14 s, ~10 words | 1 | Root cause | Fish's ruled line verbatim: sound doesn't reach a deep-sleeping brain |
| 4 | Punchline | 55-80 | 8.5-12 s, ~12 words | 14-20 s, ~20 words | 2-3 | The silent buzz | Product named once; touch gets through; silent to everyone else; keeps going until he turns it off; someone else stays asleep in the wide |
| 5 | CTA | 80-100 | 12-15 s, ~9 words | 20-25 s, ~15 words | 1-2 | Offer | Product + 60 nights, spoken; plays under the 3 s end card (optional, --end-card; off by default per Fish 10-06) (overlay), so its shot is a cheap hold on the punchline wide |
Hook-only (3-5 s in front of a proven body)
| # | Beat | Time | Words @3.4-3.8 wps | Shots | Rules |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Callout gag | 0-2.5 s | 8-10 | 1-2 | Overlay + line 1 name her symptom; one noise source |
| 2 | Escalation / open loop | 2.5-5 s | 6-8 | 1 | One rung bigger; ends with the kid still asleep and her face. No product, no root cause, no buzz |
- The hook's last line must make the body's first line follow naturally. Read the base's line body_start (or lead_start) before writing. Every hook in the matrix has to land into the same body. |
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| - Song bodies: Suno sings ~2.0-2.5 wps, so a 5 s sung hook holds ~10-12 words. |
Gag construction rules
- One gag per ad. One premise (smoke alarm, tuba, the dog, the fifth knock), escalated. Never two unrelated jokes.
- The premise is a VOC line made literal. Start from a real line (stake bank, reviews, survey), picture it, then raise it one rung. "Slept through the fire department" → a fire truck at the window, kid still asleep.
- The ladder: rung 0 = what she really does (knocks), rung 1 = absurd but plausible (pots and pans), rung 2 = impossible (a tuba player in the doorway). Hooks stop at rung 2; standalone may hit rung 3 once.
- Readable with the sound off. The overlay names her symptom; captions carry the words; each shot's action is legible as a silhouette. If the joke needs the sound to land, it isn't a joke yet.
- The punchline is the buzz. The loudest thing in the ad fails; the quietest thing works, and someone in the same frame sleeps through it (competitor-swap test).
- Who's laughing at whom: nobody laughs at mom, and the kid isn't lazy. The joke is the gap between the size of the noise and his stillness.
- No chaos in the first 3 s (hook taxonomy): build up to the absurd; don't open on a crowd.
Gag bank (premises with their sources; staging status)
| Premise | VOC source | Staging |
|---|---|---|
| Smoke alarm / fire truck at the window | stake bank #9 [reddit 1gila3x] "slept through the fire department coming into our apartment" |
OK: alarm on the ceiling, truck outside, kid on top of the covers |
| Fifty trips up the stairs | stake bank #11 [survey #10232] "the 50 trips every morning to get her up" |
OK: stair montage = 1 shot, mom's step count in VO not on screen |
| Every alarm in the house at once | alarmclock pack body ("Five alarms, five snoozes") | OK: clocks with hands, no digits |
| Dragged out by the ankles | stake bank #12 (grown kid) | RISK: adult over a child in bed. Show the doorway wide or the aftermath only |
| Water poured on him | stake bank #13 (grown kid) | RISK: same; and wet-kid-in-bed frames trip filters. Prefer the threat (a glass in the doorway) |
| Punch when woken | stake bank #10 | DON'T: violence gag |
Line rules (all beats)
- One sentence per pack line; 5-12 words for narration; ≥4 words for any line that owns a shot.
- Said-out-loud test; pronoun-first for mom; deadpan beats exclamation marks.
- Numbers spelled with spaces for EL ("six thirty", "fifty trips").
- Failed solutions generic (louder alarm, phone across the room); never brand names; never bed shakers.
Structure example (ILLUSTRATIVE — shape only, not shipping copy; real lines come from VOC and Fish's approval)
Standalone, ~15 s, mom deadpan, overlay You knock five times.|He sleeps through the smoke alarm.
1. "I knocked five times. Then the smoke alarm went off." (gag: doorway wide, alarm flashing on the ceiling, kid asleep on top of the covers, mom deadpan)
2. "The dog left the room. He rolled over." (escalation: the dog trots out past mom; kid turns over)
3. "Sound doesn't reach a deep-sleeping brain." (turn: same wide, the room goes quiet)
4. "So now a band on his wrist buzzes at six thirty." (product reveal: his wrist flat on the blanket, the band side-on, display dark, small motion lines; his eyes open)
5. "Nobody else hears it, and it keeps going until he turns it off." (product reveal: wide, he sits up; the dog asleep in the hallway)
6. "Dawn Band. Sixty nights to try it." (cta: hold on the wide; end card (optional, --end-card; off by default per Fish 10-06) covers it)
Hook-only, ~4 s, in front of a narrator body whose line 2 begins "Not because he's lazy…": 1. "A tuba played in his doorway this morning." (gag: tuba player in the doorway, kid asleep) 2. "He never once heard it." (open loop: mom's deadpan face, kid still asleep) → body line 2 lands next.